Goats and other great gifts
JAY REMER
The etiquette guy
Published Saturday December 13, 2008

I am often asked, "What do I give to someone who has everything?"

Those who fit into this category are often the elderly, the well-to-do, very private people and also children. A colleague of mine from Palm Beach came up with an amazing idea. Jacqueline Whitmore owns the Protocol School of Palm Beach. She sent me the following note:

"Greetings! There is one thing I enjoy more than receiving gifts and that is giving gifts. And just in case you're wondering what I am giving family members this holiday season, I would like to tell you. I am giving goats! That's right - dairy goats!

"More people are replacing traditional gift giving with unique, unforgettable ways to celebrate special occasions and holidays. And since my nieces and nephews have every imaginable toy and electronic gadget under the sun, I have decided to make a donation in their names to Heifer International and give a gift that will help children and families around the world lift themselves out of poverty and become self-reliant.

"Last October, I met an inspirational woman by the name of Jo Luck, president and CEO of Heifer International. Established in 1944, the mission of Heifer is to work with communities in the U.S. and around the world to end hunger and poverty and care for the Earth. Heifer International makes it possible for you to give the gift of animals including sheep, llamas, heifers, chickens, pigs or honeybees. For example, the gift of a dairy goat can supply a family with up to several quarts of nutritious milk a day - a tonne of milk a year. Extra milk can be sold or used to make cheese, butter or yogurt. Families learn to use goat manure to fertilize gardens.

"My hope is that you will think creatively this holiday season and find ways to bring smiles to as many people as possible. If you can only donate in-kind gifts or the gift of your time, you will be giving something just as valuable. And that is what the gift-giving spirit is all about."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
- Chinese proverb

This holiday season most of us will not be giving many gifts to our friends and family. Most families will give one gift to each person. Many folks will struggle to have a Christmas meal. Fortunately, there are several ways to help needy families.

In Charlotte County more than 200 families get help each holiday season to ensure they can pass down the true meaning of Christmas to their children and grandchildren. One tradition I love is when extended families pool their resources to make a donation through their church or community centre to help. If 20 family members each chip in $10, a less fortunate family can benefit.

As well, the Charlotte County Benevolent Society discreetly helps families, especially those with children who are ill. I'm sure other communities have similar programs. Contact your municipal office or town hall.

Years ago my father and mother decided that instead of giving presents they would adopt a child from a far away land for a year in each of our names. There were seven of us, so it was an amazing undertaking. We received photos and letters and it gave us an opportunity to get involved in the lives of children in need all around the world. There are several organizations worldwide involved in this kind of work.

I remember one Christmas when a friend of mine and I went to a grocery store. A woman approached my friend and asked if she could have some money to buy a turkey. Something in her eyes made him stop. He said, "Come with me." He got a shopping cart and filled it with everything she and her small child needed for a beautiful Christmas dinner.

She was awestruck. "How can I ever thank you?" she asked. He replied, "If you can, I'd love to hear from you and find out how your holiday was." He gave her his address but didn't expect to hear from her. Several weeks later a note arrived in the mail from the woman. It was heartwarming to know she had turned things around.

To me, this is what this time of year is all about. Let us be reminded throughout the year of the spirit of Christmas and continue to help one another whenever and however we are able. Please keep the giving spirit alive in your hearts.

Jay Remer is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. He lives in St. Andrews. E-mail your etiquette questions to jay@etiquetteguy.com and visit his website at www.etiquetteguy.com.