In the spirit of Halloween
JAY REMER
The etiquette guy
Published Saturday October 18, 2008

One of my fondest memories as a child is Halloween. This first memory meant carving a pumpkin. When my sister and I were old enough we each had our own pumpkin to carve and we had a great time seeing who could outdo the other in making the face as scary as possible. Eyebrows and teeth seemed to be the targeted body parts for this. Lighting them every night outside on the front porch gave us such joy. It signaled to the neighbours that we were in the Halloween spirit.

The origins of Halloween dates back to the 5th century B.C., when the Celts marked the end of summer on Oct. 31. They would douse all their fires and darken their dwellings to make them inhospitable to evil spirits and demons. A large bonfire was set outside of town to celebrate the summer's harvest and to frighten away evil spirits. It was believed that people who died during the previous year would choose a person or animal for their soul to inhabit for the next 12 months before finally entering the afterlife. Roving souls would be scared off by family members who would dress up as goblins and witches before parading around inside and outside their darkened houses, making as much noise as possible.

Trick-or-treating was also an Irish custom dating back to the 9th century when people would beg for "soul cakes," square biscuits ladened with cranberries. The more biscuits, the more prayers the beggars would say on behalf of the dead relatives of the people providing the cakes and the quicker the deceased would reach heaven. Other customs evolved over the years as pagan rituals subsided. The customs and celebration of Halloween were brought to America by the Irish during the migration caused by the potato famine.

For us, this holiday also meant a trip to Wanamaker's department store to buy a costume. Costumes came in a variety of styles from storybook characters to animals, pirates, cowboys and space heroes. There were also the usual ghosts, witches and scary monster masks. The costumes all were neatly stacked on the store shelves by size and character. For some reason I was usually a pirate, but a different one each year. These costumes were not sturdy enough to use year after year so they were discarded. Many of our friends made their own costumes and they were extraordinary.

Trick or treating around our neighbourhood was quite thrilling. We would be driven around, armed with large paper shopping bags and a box to collect money for UNICEF (United Nations Children's Fund). It was amazing how much money our school would raise every year for this cause even back in the 1950s. We went from house to house on foot with an adult following to make sure we didn't cause any trouble.

We loved collecting candy and candied apples. That was pretty much standard fare back then. No one had the allergies to nuts and preservatives that now seem to plague society. When we returned home, we would empty our loot onto our beds and see how we did. It was never an unwieldy amount and we meted it out with care over the next several weeks.

But then there was also the night before Halloween. That was where we would, under cover of darkness, armed with soap and toilet paper, "celebrate" Mischief Night. Mind you, we would occasionally pull similar stunts on Halloween Night, but this night was altogether different. I remember one year we went out and papered the large oak trees of our neighbours. At breakfast the next morning, my mother expressed reserved delight - she would probably love to have participated herself. However, she pointed out that fingers would be pointed at us because we failed to paper our own trees. Fortunately, soap on screens and cars and paper in trees disappear rather quickly thanks to Mother Nature and a hose.

Today, many families consider alternatives to trick-or-treating, especially if they live in an urban setting. Halloween parties with scary movies, games, Halloween crafts and lots of Halloween treats are a good option for city children. The Halloween party is also great during inclement weather. Many families don't want their children to get gobs of candy today, and make substitutes such as health bars and even coloured pencils. Personally, I still like candy corn. And I also still believe strongly in collecting coins for the local food bank (since UNICEF cancelled its collection box program in Canada). This teaches children the importance of remembering those children less fortunate than themselves all around the world. It instills in them the good feeling of giving and of how difficult it is to collect funds, but that when done as a group it can make a real difference. Moreover, it teaches the children to have respect for all children the whole world over. Whatever the choice for Halloween - dressing up for trick-or-treating, a Halloween party or collecting money, have a safe and happy Halloween!

Jay Remer is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. He lives in St. Andrews. E-mail your etiquette questions to jay@etiquetteguy.com and visit his website at www.etiquetteguy.com.