The highs and lows of tea
JAY REMER
The etiquette guy
Published Saturday August 23rd, 2008

Taking tea with my grandmother was a special treat for me and a tradition that I remember as far back as any in my childhood. It was a simple pleasure, one where I always felt safe. Doing something the same way tends to have that effect, especially on a child. Every summer my sister and I would visit our grandparents in Connecticut for two weeks. At five o'clock each afternoon the tea tray was arranged and the tea table set. We would sit down and drink a cup of tea with a freshly baked Scottish ginger cookie with a blanched almond slice in the centre. We would talk about the fun we'd had during the day.

There was a certain ritual to taking tea. When done correctly, it turns this afternoon snack into a meditation. I always remember how quiet the pouring of the tea was. My grandmother taught English to a wealthy Chinese lady and we drank some rare Chinese teas. (Although at that age, I wouldn't have known the difference.) The tea was steeped in a porcelain teapot with a lovely thick tea cozy knitted by my grandmother. There was a silver hot water pot used to dilute the tea to a desired potency, a sugar bowl with small white sugar cubes and a pitcher of cold milk. There was a glass plate with slices (not wedges) of lemon. I quickly learned how to use sugar tongs and a lemon fork.

I remember one day when I was in Georgia, when I was about 11, I decided to go to the local hotel for a cup of tea and some of their delicious cookies. The hostess asked if I'd like milk or lemon. I confidently stated I'd like both. I soon realized that "less is more" and that the acid from the lemon causes milk to curdle. The hostess very politely asked if I would like a new cup. I looked at her, having turned beet red, and, with an embarrassed tear in my eye, said, "Yes, thank you." Thank goodness for those delicious cookies.

Tea rituals vary but there are a set of principles which stay very much in play to ensure a pleasant experience. The Japanese tea ceremony has the strictest of rules. Many years of study and practice are required to master this. But in the Western world, tea service is quite different. And there are different kinds of tea service. One of the most misused names is that of "high tea." Many people think that this is the be-all-to-end-all of teas. In fact, high tea is a hearty meal, usually including a main course, and is served family style at the end of a long, hard day of work. It was developed during the Industrial Revolution. It includes tea as well as alcoholic beverages.

Tea served in the afternoon with scones, delicate sandwiches and sweets is properly referred to as "afternoon tea." It is named "low tea" as it is usually served on a low table. If you add a glass of champagne, you are serving "royal tea."

I was recently in Washington, D.C., where I was fortunate to take a workshop from one of world's leading tea experts. My eyes were opened to a whole new world, thanks to Bruce Richardson of the Elmwood Inn in Perryville, Ky., and a mentor of mine, Dorothea Johnson, founder of the Protocol School of Washington. I learned about the different types of teas: black, oolong, green, white, scented and flavoured, herbal and chai. Most interesting to me was that all teas (other than herbal and chai) come from the same plant - Camellia sinensis. The difference in the tea types comes from the leaves that are picked and how they are grown and processed.

I was also introduced to the idea of honouring the ladies who pick the tea leaves. Without their tender loving care, we would not be lucky enough to imbibe in this most refreshing and relaxing of beverages. Done silently and privately, this is a fine way to honour those women. After tea, discard the tea leaves in your garden to complete the cycle.

I will cover the dos and don'ts of tea service in an upcoming column. In the meantime, enjoy this most delightful time of day. And for heaven's sake, don't hold out your pinkie.

Jay Remer is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. He lives in St. Andrews. E-mail your etiquette questions to jay@etiquetteguy.com and visit his website at www.etiquetteguy.com.

► Read this column at the Telegraph Journal online.