Hold court as a good sport
JAY REMER
The etiquette guy
Published Saturday July 26th, 2008

This year's Wimbledon was one of the most thrilling tennis tournaments of all time, especially the men's and women's finals. The Williams sisters are always exciting to watch. They are such gracious competitors whether they win or lose.

That sense of grace was also overtly evident after the final record-breaking match of the men's final between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Both of those men fought hard right to the end. The five-time defending champion went down in defeat to the Spaniard with super human shots and stamina. After the tournament each was genuinely complimentary about the other. This display of sportsmanship is not often seen.

Even rarer was seeing John McEnroe tearing up as he was interviewing Federer, telling him what a privilege it was to watch such a historic match. The contrast to matches between Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe was notable. The highest sportsmanship gave this match, and in fact the entire sport, the brightest spotlight it has ever seen. Tennis is a game where etiquette, sportsmanship and showmanship are enmeshed.

I started playing tennis when I was six. My pals and I quickly learned the rules of the game and how important proper etiquette and good manners were. As the years went swiftly by, I began playing competitive tennis at camp, in school and in summer tournaments. One of the great things about tennis was the fact that no matter where the game was played, the same respect of one's partner or competitor remained the same. This is not to say that emotions didn't run high and tempers did flare; but there was a sense of something gone wrong if the emotions and tempers got out of hand. I remember on more than one occasion a coach ending a match and ordering a player off the court for bad sportsmanship. How embarrassing that was for the poor player.

I learned how to lay out a tennis court with the white tapes on the Har-Tru clay courts we played on at school. It was quite an exacting science. Then the courts, of course, had to be swept, and who better to do that job than those of us who played on them? When I was lucky enough to be invited to play on a friend's private tennis court, it seemed more like a privilege than a task to sweep the courts after using them. There's something about stepping onto a nice, fresh tennis court that seems so civilized - kind of like stepping onto a fresh sheet of ice.

When playing on public municipal courts, there is no sweeping as they are made of asphalt or some equally hard surface. The lines are painted on so it's no-fuss, no-muss. When the courts are busy it's only proper to limit play to one hour. That gives those waiting on the sidelines a chance to play and, better yet, an idea as to when they can expect to get on the court. If you practise for five or ten minutes, that still gives you a chance to get in two sets, which is great exercise and fun.

Don't forget to wear white socks with your sneakers (mandatory footwear). Resist wearing blue jeans and tank tops. Dressing for the game adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the entire experience. Use sun block. And when you hit a ball into another court, wait until the players on that court have finished the point, retrieve the ball, and make perfunctory apologies. After each match, make sure you shake hands with your opponents and look them in the eye. Tennis, like golf, is competitive. Mind your manners and don't swear. Using inappropriate language does nothing to enhance your image. And, as Andre Agassi so aptly said in a famous commercial for Canon, "Image is everything."

Tennis is, after all, a game. It is supposed to be fun and invigorating, yet gentile. A good friend of mine made a great point about cheating. She said it was the most important thing she ever taught her children and grandchildren. Long after any match is played, who won or lost will often times be forgotten. What is remembered are the shots that were in but called out. The word of the person on the side where the ball lands is final. By calling shots out that are in or on the line will damage your reputation. Be ever mindful of not calling balls out when they're on the line. If unsure if it was in or out, either replay the point or be gracious and give your opponent the benefit of doubt - and the point. That cements your position as a good sport. Playing the game by the rules and showing good sportsmanship and good gamesmanship will enhance the fun you have and the fun others will have as well.

Jay Remer is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. He lives in St. Andrews. E-mail your etiquette questions to jay@etiquetteguy.com and visit his website at www.etiquetteguy.com.

► Read this column at the Telegraph Journal online.